... and its not snowing. typical.

although it was raining like crazy for the past few days. if only the temperature just lowered a bit. then, it would have been a white christmas.

the winter break so far has been full of events. first off, ive been watching gossip girl because eva told me it was amazing, and its actually pretty good. i LOVE chuck bass. his character is so mysterious and charming, you gotta love him.

i hung out with alot of my hs friends this break (thank goodness because i havent seen them in a while.) the first person i saw was lisa, followed by shopping with xin, and then more shopping with jeffrey, miranda and matthew. i HATE shopping with a passion when it comes to getting the right gift for the right person. thank goodness i had people there to help me. took me forever, and i went wayyy over my budget. HE BETTER APPRECIATE AND LOVE IT.

i went out to eat with jenny on christmas eve at starwalk. we stuffed ourselves to the booone. Christmas day was extremely BORING. I first met up with xin, miranda, and kevin and we made our way over to mix2 for pool (LMAO). when me and kevin were waiting for xin and miranda to come, tim suddenly showed up (followed by matt and their friend ryan). it tripped me out so hard :S turns out that miranda had called them over too. afterwards, i went back to mirandas house. after eating with her and her mom, tim called us out again and asked us to go see avatar. at first i reallly didn't want to go because i had a huge stomach ache from dinner, but miranda said i really should go because justin was going too ahahha. now that i think about it, it was actually really nice (and lucky i guess) that i got to see him on christmas day :)

we went over to the richmond hill theatre but avatar was SOLD OUT. so we just went to tim's house afterwards. we didn't stay really long because my parents came to pick us up soon afterwards and dragged miranda along with us LOLOL.

On boxing day, we went to yorkdale. i didn't end up getting anything because the stuff wasn't really right for me, but i had a really nice time with my parents. i haven't had that in a while. at night, we went over to mirandas AGAIN and had another dinner together (this time with my parents and gale). it was one of the best christmas' i've had so far. i would've sleptover at mirandas, but then she was going to hang out with tim and matt at night and i was already really tired, so that didn't happen.

just 5 months ago, i was struggling to decide where to go. though sometimes i wonder what it's like to have chosen a different path. i have come to love the one i am currently on. i have made wonderful friends and have learned things that will last with me forever. I have only been at MAC for 4 months, and i already wish i could stay forever.

Things have also been hectic lately. Eva tells me that things are kinda rushed and that we're going into this too blindly. maybe she's right? or maybe she just doesn't see it the way we do. matthew's asked me if im ready also. sometimes i really think i am, but at other times, it seems that a little more time would reassure me of my decision.

it kills me how considerate he really is. he understands that i don't wanna rush things. he always tells me that he'll let me decide what's going to happen to us next. it really frustrates me sometimes because i usually need a push when i make decisions. well, at least, that use to be the case. i never really had to decide anything on my own before because it would usually be done for me in my past. He tells me that he doesn't want his feelings and what he wants to affect my decision because he knows that it might affect the outcome. I'm not use to that at all.

I've never felt this way before. He sees right through me. Whenever something's wrong, he's the first one to ask if i'm okay. he knows when i'm lying, he knows exactly what to say or do whenever i need someone there for me. he doesn't push me in any way to do something i don't want to do. he knows when i need space, and he knows when i need someone there for me. he understands me completely.

i feel .. vulnerable, but its a good thing.

i miss him. :(

srsly. i hate exams. kin exam was okay, except i was falling asleep during the exam cuz justin and i slept at 7am the morning of the exam just trying to review all the concepts. chem exam was pretty wack for me, although that was probably because i just don't get chem (unlike in highschool). psych exam was okay, nothing to complain about. and then there's math. oh godddd, stupid math. i got killed in that exam. i hope i pass T________T. There's still bio left this friday, so i'm going to pwn that!!

So this past weekend was when I had my psych exam. For a couple of weeks now, Miranda has been bugging me about coming to MAC. i know that she's joking, but it gets annoying when she constantly repeats herself and when I'm trying to study. So on friday, she msgs me when i was studying for psych, and tells me she's coming to MAC. i got really fed up and on top of that i wasn't sure if she was lying because tim and justin were saying that she was coming too. When i asked matthew if they were telling the truth, he said he had asked justin and apparently it was all a joke. i got MORE pissed 'cuz they fully knew i was pissed off about it. they apologized later though so everything went back to normal.

At around 11pm, miranda's mom calls me to ask me if miranda arrived at MAC yet. when i told her i had no idea wht she was talking about, she went into panic mode and called my parents and everything. i was really stressed out because i was worried and mad that miranda would tell her mom that. i asked everyone that i could, and she was no where to be found. Later, mirandas mom calls me back and tells me to identify a number which miranda called from. Turns out it was Tim's and that Miranda was actually at hamilton. i was REALLY mad. Not only did she not tell me, but she had the nerve to come during exams.

the whole weekend i didn't talk to her and i was really upset. I was mad at certain times, and i wanted to talk to her like crazy at other times. it was like a rollercoaster. thank god i had people with me the whole time. People like matthew, justin, and jen, they were behind me the whole way. they listened to me when i was spazzing, and they gave me advice as well.

im extremely grateful that justin was there with me the WHOLE time: from the moment it began and throughout the whole way. he helped me call tim constantly and was always looking out for miranda for me when i didnt want to. whenever i got mad at her, he would reassure me that she was my friend and that it was not worth doing something stupid over. and whenever i was frustrated over it, he'd know and would try to talk it out with me. i'm really glad he was with me through it all. he says he doesn't think he did anything, but it was honestly something that i'll never forget. he's such a caring and nice guy. i would have gone insane without him.

miranda came to mac last weekend. i had to go to the hamilton go centre to pick her up, and matthew wouldn't come with me at first because he was too LAZY to get changed to go out. In the end, he came with me :)

we ordered pizza and started to watch a movie. then tim came along and i introduced them. then i found out that miranda smokes -.-, and tim smokes, so they became smoker buddies. they went through like 2 packs in a day. frickin ridiculous.

then eva came back to res with kenneth and susane, so all of us watched jennifer's body (LOL huge pun). everyone left around 4ish, but tim stayed with us and we just chilled for a while. youtube videos the whole night! LOL.

so at like 8 in the morning, we went out for coffee at williams. tim took his skateboard with him and pretty much pummeled to the ground a few times while doing his tricks. when we got there, me and eva couldn't take it and just decided to go back to res and sleep. tim and miranda stayed for a while longer.

so i went to bed. but i wasnt able to stay asleep for very long because i felt a body slam which woke me up. when i got up, i see tim and miranda on my bed smiling at me. frickin creepers.

after talking for a while, eva woke up because she heard us talking, so we all just chilled again.

At around lunchtime, we went to commons for lunch with matthew. eva went back to bed.

after lunch we met up with jen and i introduced her to miranda. then we ALL went to jackson square to do some shopping. after shopping we went back to res and slept. tim, miranda and i were dead tired because we stayed up the whole night. we slept from 3-6 while matthew and jenn were in the basement doing hwk LMAO. then at around 7-8 we went to pho :)

that night, tim and miranda blazed. at first when tim asked us to go, i was pretty skeptical about letting miranda go, but then i realized that i really trust tim so i let her go. Turns out i was right. Miranda was all high and stuff but Tim didn't try anything with her. After a long sleep and when Justin got back, we decided to watch NEW MOON. so we all travelled to jackson square. during a scene when taylor lautner takes off his shirt to stop the bleeding for bella, some guy in the theatre yelled "WHAT A DOUCHE." Matthew and I cracked up for like 5 minutes. TOO FUNNY.

After the movie, i got like 10 missed calls and it turns out that miranda's mom had freaked because she couldn't get in touch with miranda. i got lectured at for a while for being irresponsible because miranda was apparently suppose to be home by 9pm and she was STILL in hamilton at 10. i dont think she's ever allowed to come back LOL. So we all went to the go centre to drop her off. AND THAT WAS MY WEEKEND.

ALSO alot of other things have been happening that's distracting me from school. I guess he picked a bad time to tell me, but i guess it's okay because I feel really happy that he did :) It's pretty funny because I never expected it, but apparently to all my other friends said it was obvious. He's so awesomely nice and understanding that it sickens me. I've never met someone like that before. He's not afraid to be himself and not afraid to act like a total LOSER in front of everyone. I really admire that about him. Who knows what's going to happen, but all i know is that i'm suuuuuuper glad things are the way it is. he makes me smile :)

I'm going back to mac today, and i honestly can't wait. I've missed everyone so much. It's like they've become my 2nd family. I don't know what I'm going to do when we have to move out when school ends, i'm honestly going to be so depressed. I've gotten use to seeing them everyday that even a weekend without seeing them has become so depressing.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE LIFE.